Not every black girl’s hair is fake, All white girls aren’t easy, Every Light skin girl isn’t cute, & Every dark skin girl isn’t ugly!

keepcalmandfollowmee:

Amen!

(Source: trillsolo, via drownedindiamonds)

Venting.

Fuckkkkkk I’m so UGH right now. Not even sure how to put it in words. For one, procrastination will be the death of me. I was already behind in that got damn class, now after everything happened I just feel like giving up, but I really want to finish with a good grade. Thank God I’m only taking one class at a time. I mean, I honestly wanted to be so busy with classes and what not so I could feel like I was getting something accomplished, but what happened to Precious has my heart so heavy. My stomach hurt, I want to throw up I feel like shits not real right now. Idk idk idk. My hearts so broken. I just want someone to hug, or to talk to or somethin. And what makes it 10x worse is I can’t even vent to my so called bestie about it because she’s so wrapped up in her own self caused problems she won’t take the time to help me thru my time of need. And I’m so here for her right now its crazy, I’m literally always there for my friends, but this ONE time I really need em they’re not here. Typical. Don’t get me wrong though, I have one who got my back and has been rockin w/ me this whole time but she’s hella far away and has her own problems so I’m trying not to stress her out with anymore of mine. Times like right now when I really just need someone right here by me to give me a hug, make me laugh, wipe my tears, SOMETHING, NO ONES here. And  this shit hurts, bad. And I’m really starting to be disgusted by my “bestfriend”. Like literally how the fuck can I be there for you while I’M MOURNING!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!??!??!??!???!!!! and you can’t even have the decency to check on me dude. Uggggh I don’t even know. I do know that I’m gonna tell her about herself…but then at times I just don’t care to. Idk, like I said, my heart hurts, I’m pissed to an extent„ my emotions are taking a toll on me, and I just don’t understand why the so called friends of mine who literally know I’m hurting right now are being so selfish. Idk. I’m normaly one positive ass mothafcka but its like I can’t be like that all the time right now. One thing that Precious’ passing has taught me though is to appreciate my family man. Like I literally considered him my big brother. No we didn’t talk all the time, no we didn’t didn’t even talk on a regular basis, but shit I don’t even talk to my blood family like that. If I consider you family, that’s what you are. The very few times I was beefin with some niggas I’d literally call/text or have my sister call or text him or Nique (his wife/and another one of my sisters) and be like I need this handled just like any other big brother! I’d get over it before anything ever went down, but if I felt like something needed to happen thats who I’d run to. I’ve known this man for more than half of my life. I literally just started getting back in touch with these guys on a regular. We spent my birthday together (November) his birthday together (beginning of December) fuckin New Years& then my cousins birthday (January). Every pic i have as a main pic on fb or twitter are the ones of the last few times with him. And I’m sooo pissed because the ONLY recent pic I have of us was frm my graduation which was damn near 3yrs ago, and on his birthday I literally remember coming out of the bathroom getting ready to go home and wanting to take a pic with him, but I forgot bc in that instant my sis pissed me all the way off and tht was the last thing on my mind. Idk, but shout out to tumblr, my new best friend. I’m breathing easier right now. Like I said we weren’t the closest but I feel like I have to get this tattoo in memory of him. I love him and like I said this reallly really really reminds me how important family is to me. Him, his wife and their four children were my Perfect Little Family and what I aspire to have. Like literally have you ever heard of this: My sis was 13 or 14 I believe when they met, he was 17 or 18. The parents did everything they could to keep em apart, tried to put him in juvie, make them live w/ other relatives etc never workd. They had their first child 2 yrs after, got married 4 yrs after they met and in the midst of it all they had 3 more beautiful babies. They’ve always been a happy little family, and are doing beautifully financially, they’re even reverends!!!!!!!!!!!! And he just turned 31, she’s about to turn 26 or 27. Either way it goes that whole shit I just explained is a rare, rare, rare story and I’ve always loved them even more for the love they’ve shared. I try to remember to  count my blessings instead of negatives, but I just got a little overwhelmed for a minute. And in his honor I’m gttng tatted “Family is Precious”, a lady at his church came up with the theme “Life is Precious” and I fell in love with it, but for me family fits so much better into the saying. I think I’m done now. I’m probably going to go hit the weed and go to sleep. Maybe do alittle bit of this homework first. Peace.

GahhhhhhhDamn

I really feel like what the fuck I gotta do to show ppl I’m serious, I need em, I need someone! I have a “bestfriend”who checks on me here and there out of guilt, my other besty goes thru loads of her own personal shit on a regular, things that are literally out of her control; so I don’t really like venting to her or tellin her my issues but I do because there’s no one else to tell that acts like they give a fuck. Ugh, then I talk to my mother about shit but idk…I just feel like no one will understand how serious shit in my life is until somethin extreme happens. And that’s fucking sad. 

Most recent example, last night I woke up in the worst stomach pain I think I’ve ever had, and it was shared with my back. Mind you, the shit woke me from my sleeeeeep! It was so bad! I literally looked at my phone thinking “fuck should I go to the ER, this is really fucking bad” but I refused bc I had to make it into work today bc a bitch is brooooke and can’t afford to miss any hrs on this check smfh. I even thought I was having a miscarraige[while unknowingly pregnant] and kept checking myself to see if i was dry or not lmao. Clearly I was wrong about that, but anywho, I called the 24hr nurse earlier to see if she could know what that shit was, she said to make an appt tmrow if it gets worse or happens again to call back and maybe come in sooner. Mind you i’ve been having those shooting cramps since about 3pm [on&off&not to tht same extent thank God!] but still. And I told my mother all of this, explaining to her how scared I was &shit& she says oh well by tomorrow you’ll be better. WHATTHEFUCK?! I mean I don’t want the pity or nothing but ppl pls just at least act like you give a fuck. SHEESH!

OH&mind you we just found out a bitch got whip lash and a twisted rib, which may not be too serious&the twisted rib is most likely from stress, not the car accident that caused the whip lash,but still none of that shits good. I mean hey, I overall just look at it as I was at fault for the accident, and no one even cares to ask if  I was really literally at fault, so I caused my own whip lash, which is a cause, if not the cause of all this pain. So, no one will give a fuck bc i’m the cause of all my problems; MIND YOU WHEN I GOT IN THIS CAR ACCIDENT I WAS AT THE END OF ONE OF THE MOST EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CPL WKS OF MY LIFE, and the majority of that was from my brother Precious being murdered, but no one seems to recognize that either, ugh. But s’all good, Thats what tumblr’s for.

Family is Precious.

Live Life.

Count them blessings.

Perseverance.

Goodnight.